Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Tuesday's True Confession: The Trouble with Posting

If you haven't read Twelve Crafts Till Christmas, you really should. The idea is simple: craft one Christmas gift each month so you're already done by the time Christmas rolls around. I love it! Also, she does this thing called Tuesday's True Confessions. I don't know if it's a thing that lots of bloggers do or just her, but I find it refreshing to know something real and true about someone on the internet. It's easy to pretend like you live in perfection when hiding behind a computer screen. Being real is really nice. Really.

So here is my first ever Tuesday True Confession:
You see, I WANT to post nearly every single day. I do, really. I have a million things I want to blog about. (okay, maybe a million is stretching it a bit, but it's a LOT). The problem comes when I start thinking I shouldn't. I shouldn't be blogging because I should be doing something more important like teaching or playing with my kids, or cleaning, or cooking, or couponing, or sewing, or crafting...and the list goes on. I mean, that's what I'm supposed to do, right? And I definitely shouldn't be blogging if its not about my kids. That would just be totally wrong.
That's probably not true at all, but that's how I feel most times. The real problem is that I'm too concerned with what other people think about me. I have spent my whole life trying to win approval from the people in my life. Usually from people who are incapable of it. Do you feel like that? Like no matter what you say or do, nothing will ever be good enough? You can never measure up to this person or that person?
I find myself feeling that way in blog land too. Although it has much more to do with the my real life people than my fellow bloggers. I'm always amazed and inspired by the bloggers who aren't afraid to tell it how it really is. I was reading this post from A Year of Slow Cooking where she confesses that she storms from the table saying she will never cook again & might have also stuck her tongue out at her family in the process. This is real life and how some of us feel sometimes. However, if I were to ever admit that I had done that, I would probably be fielding a dozen calls admonishing my parenting skills (or lack thereof) and quite possibly a visit from social services.
For those of you who have been faithful readers (thank you, thank you, thank you) you might remember this post about the Wright Brothers Museum. You'll notice that it's the "revised edition". I don't really remember what I wrote on the first edition, but i do know I express disappointment and annoyance at not being able to spend more time at the museum because the kids were ready to go. Apparently this was rude and upsetting to certain people who wasted no time in telling me so. In an effort to please I revised it. It's all very polite and smiley now.
Now let's talk about how I really feel: That day totally sucked! We only got to see about 1/4 of what was at the museum because everybody else just zoomed right on through & then wanted to leave. Some of the things in my pictures I didn't even get to see! When we visit places (especially places we're not likely to ever get back to) we like to take our time and explore everything they have to offer. If we had told our kids that the ocean would still be there later and we were going to have fun at the museum for awhile, they would have agreed and enjoyed themselves. But we weren't given that option. Then we went to the lighthouse where none of my pictures turned out which totally bummed me out. I would have loved just one semi-good picture of my kiddos in front of that lighthouse!
That's how I feel. It's over and done with & can't be changed. Please don't call or e-mail with nasty comments. Let's just be willing to accept that sometimes it's okay to be all polite and smiley. Sometimes it's okay to be really honest. Really.

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