Tuesday's True Confession: Feeling Inadequate

I heart looking at other blogs, but sometimes I'm left feeling somewhat inadequate. Okay, a LOT inadequate. For instance, one blog writer did a recap of everything she accomplished last year. It involved a television appearance, a magazine spread, and being able to quit her full-time day job because of the success of her blog. Umm, okay. How am I supposed to compete with that?

I love my little blog. I really do. But I start reading other people's blogs and thinking, "Ooh, I want to do that" or "I can blog about 401k's and hedge funds even though I've never dealt with either!" You get the point. I'm all over the map because I don't have a clear goal for MY blog. In the beginning, the goal was very clear: A place to put all of the kids pictures and updates so the grandparents & other relatives will stop bugging me to mail them photos even though I take digital pictures & rarely print them. Then I realized that none of the relatives actually reads my blog, and I discovered that I enjoyed writing about other things than just the kids. (Sorry kiddos). However, like everything else in my life, I tend to be a scattered, unfocused, and unable to complete tasks I begin. So it's really a miracle that this blog still exists. 

Lately, the posts have been (obviously) random & sporadic. I feel like I'm just throwing stuff on here for the sake of posting. I need to find a focus and a purpose for my blog.

Has anybody else ever struggled with this? How do you overcome it? How did YOU decide what to blog about? Any suggestions would be appreciated!

Tuesday's True Confession: Inconsistency is My Middle Name!

Okay, so Inconsistency isn't really my middle name. But it might as well be! I have a terrible time following through on anything. I'm really really good at planning, making lists & charts, and exploring all possible possibilities. Sometimes I embark with a full head of steam, with a bit of enthusiasm, or I don't embark at all. It just depends on the project. I'm an overly emotional person & I let my emotions determine my days most of the time. If I don't feel like washing dishes, I don't. This is a problem, obviously.

There are some projects with a lifespan of over a decade. No, not the dishes! I started my first afghan in college. Some friends taught me how to crochet & since they were all making afghans, I thought I would too. Not a good idea for a first project. A pot holder would probably have been more appropriate! LOL Anyway, that project had so many starts, stops, & do-overs that it took approximately 12 years to complete. What? 12 years? Why didn't I just give up completely? I'm not sure, but I'm glad I didn't because now that it's finished I'm rather proud of what it has become. (Pictures to come later).

So, any suggestions for someone whose thoughts and emotions can't focus on one thing long enough to see it through to completion most times??? Can you relate?

Tuesday's True Confession: The Truth about Parenting

Sometimes I feel like I am the only parent on the planet who has to deal with certain issues. (Well, Kingbeaz too). Then I come across something like the blog post I read last night on The Crafty Classroom, and realize that some things are just universal parenting problems. Of course, they're MUCH funnier when they are happening to someone else. I laughed so hard I had tears running down my face & I could barely breathe. My poor husband came in from taking the trash out and thought something had happened to me. I had a hard time just telling him to read it for himself. By the time he got to Lesson 7 (my personal favorite), he too was laughing uncontrollably. I'm still giggling a bit as I sit here typing this. So if you're having one of those days, go read this post, laugh yourself silly & feel a little bit better knowing you aren't the only one!

Tuesday's True Confession: Google Reader

Okay, I admit it. I just don't get how to use Google Reader. I have it and I have many blogs that I subscribe to, but don't understand it. I still have to jump to the blog or website to read the entire post. The same summary is available on my blog dashboard. It just makes more sense to me to visit the actual blog/website. Of course, I didn't get the whole idea of Facebook when one of my BFF's convinced me to sign up about 5 or 6 years ago. Now you can't keep me off of it!

Can somebody please tell me how to use Google Reader effectively???

Thank you!

 

Tuesday's True Confession: I Forget...

Thanks to shrinkingjeans.net for the graphic.

I confess, sometimes I forget...my kids names!!! What? It's true. More often than not, it's not the actual name I can't remember, it's who the name belongs to. It's really not uncommon for me to go through all four names at least once before I either get it right or just point and say "you!" This usually happens when I'm stressed, looking at one child but speaking to another, or they are all running around and making noise...in other words, pretty much every day!

This really shouldn't happen though, because we went to great lengths to ensure that each of our children had special and unique names that were perfect for them. I'm not talking about the special and unique names you find in professional sports, like the NFL, either. Alge? D'Brickashaw? Plaxico? Although, maybe I could remember better then?

No, with my kids, each of their names has a special story. Wanna hear? Of course you do! With Bug we probably started searching for names from the time we learned I was pregnant. I wore that baby name book out. I knew that if he was a boy his middle name had to be my grandfather's name, so we had to find a first name that went well with the middle name. A little backwards, but hey. In the end, DH was ready to give in to just about anything, but then we found the perfect name. We'd never really heard of it, but knew it was perfect. Then the night before Bug was born we went to the movies and ran into a friend who told us that some guy we had gone to school with had just named their baby that! Oh my! Now, it is a very popular name, although nobody else spells theirs the same. I don't think.

Oh, Lil' Coconut. What can I say about this one? Well, the name she has now is not the name she was given upon her birth. We were having debates about what to name her right up until she was born. When she announced her arrival at the top of her lungs, DH and I agreed that she looked like a "Lola Grace", and that was the name we gave her. Apparently, I was the only one smitten with this name. The hubs was a big fan, but had some ideas about it conflicting with future baby names(imagine my rolling me eyes here). However, it was the screaming voice through the phone that I could hear from several feet away, indicating that Lola sounded like a hooker's name, that really hurt. Everyone else was more gentle, but obviously weren't fans. I was heartbroken. The hospital wouldn't let me leave until I filled out all the paperwork including her name. It took two tear filled hours to finally write down the name she has now. I still called her Lola for days. DH felt really bad & said we could change it. After only 3 days, they said it would have to go to court!?! So, I was stuck. It annoyed me to no end that I hadn't followed my heart, but over the years its grown on me. Lil' C has named her pillow pet Lola Grace and that helps. LOL

Pinky Lee was born in Hawai'i, so her name is Hawai'ian. I thought maybe we should name her Liliokalani after the queen, but got out voted there too. Actually for her, we made a (short) list of all the names we liked and then let everyone vote. We even had a poll online. I don't remember what the online poll said, but we went with the one that Bug & Lil' C liked the most. It fits her perfectly. It's beautiful and feminine & totally complements her boyish middle name. :)

Boo Boo Bear's name has the shortest & funniest story. We were a lot less serious & just kicked around a few names here and there. There was one name I really loved, but DH didn't want it as the first name, so we were back to having a middle name and needing a first name to go with it. Sound familiar? A few days before he was born we were watching a movie and one of the characters had this cute name, so we added it to the list. On the way to the hospital we decided that should be his name, and that's how our youngest son was named after a fictional character!

Good stories, no? So how could I possibly not call them the right names? I don't know. I do come by it honestly, though. I was an only child, yet people were forever calling me by someone else's name. Go figure. Thankfully, my children are not usually upset by this. They even try to help me out sometimes. Isn't that sweet? :)

Tuesday's True Confession: The Trouble with Posting

If you haven't read Twelve Crafts Till Christmas, you really should. The idea is simple: craft one Christmas gift each month so you're already done by the time Christmas rolls around. I love it! Also, she does this thing called Tuesday's True Confessions. I don't know if it's a thing that lots of bloggers do or just her, but I find it refreshing to know something real and true about someone on the internet. It's easy to pretend like you live in perfection when hiding behind a computer screen. Being real is really nice. Really.

So here is my first ever Tuesday True Confession:

You see, I WANT to post nearly every single day. I do, really. I have a million things I want to blog about. (okay, maybe a million is stretching it a bit, but it's a LOT). The problem comes when I start thinking I shouldn't. I shouldn't be blogging because I should be doing something more important like teaching or playing with my kids, or cleaning, or cooking, or couponing, or sewing, or crafting...and the list goes on. I mean, that's what I'm supposed to do, right? And I definitely shouldn't be blogging if its not about my kids. That would just be totally wrong.

That's probably not true at all, but that's how I feel most times. The real problem is that I'm too concerned with what other people think about me. I have spent my whole life trying to win approval from the people in my life. Usually from people who are incapable of it. Do you feel like that? Like no matter what you say or do, nothing will ever be good enough? You can never measure up to this person or that person?

I find myself feeling that way in blog land too. Although it has much more to do with the my real life people than my fellow bloggers. I'm always amazed and inspired by the bloggers who aren't afraid to tell it how it really is. I was reading this post from A Year of Slow Cooking where she confesses that she storms from the table saying she will never cook again & might have also stuck her tongue out at her family in the process. This is real life and how some of us feel sometimes. However, if I were to ever admit that I had done that, I would probably be fielding a dozen calls admonishing my parenting skills (or lack thereof) and quite possibly a visit from social services.

For those of you who have been faithful readers (thank you, thank you, thank you) you might remember this post about the Wright Brothers Museum. You'll notice that it's the "revised edition". I don't really remember what I wrote on the first edition, but i do know I express disappointment and annoyance at not being able to spend more time at the museum because the kids were ready to go. Apparently this was rude and upsetting to certain people who wasted no time in telling me so. In an effort to please I revised it. It's all very polite and smiley now.

Now let's talk about how I really feel: That day totally sucked! We only got to see about 1/4 of what was at the museum because everybody else just zoomed right on through & then wanted to leave. Some of the things in my pictures I didn't even get to see! When we visit places (especially places we're not likely to ever get back to) we like to take our time and explore everything they have to offer. If we had told our kids that the ocean would still be there later and we were going to have fun at the museum for awhile, they would have agreed and enjoyed themselves. But we weren't given that option. Then we went to the lighthouse where none of my pictures turned out which totally bummed me out. I would have loved just one semi-good picture of my kiddos in front of that lighthouse!

That's how I feel. It's over and done with & can't be changed. Please don't call or e-mail with nasty comments. Let's just be willing to accept that sometimes it's okay to be all polite and smiley. Sometimes it's okay to be really honest. Really.