How my day started

I turned off the 645am alarm and went back to sleep. Typical. Later, I became vaguely aware that there was someone in my bed, even though the hubs had left for work at 5am. Opening one eye, I saw the now 13-year-old J lying next to me reading.
"Why are you here?"
"Because you have a Tempurpedic* and it molds to my body. It's comfortable!"
"Hmm."
I'm thinking, "Whatever, at least he's quiet." Then I hear screams of delight. From outside. *sigh* They know they are NOT supposed to be outside if I am still in bed! So I send J outside to find the other children. Moments later three dripping wet, muddy, swimsuit-clad children arrive at my bedside.
"What do you want Mommy?" Smiling, while dirtying the carpet in a rental.
I'm sure you can imagine the rest of that conversation. And the consequences for breaking two rules. I made them all shower and get dressed. Later in the afternoon, I let them go back outside to play. I heard noises at the front door & opened it to find them playing in the mud beside the front door, yet again. My mouth opened & then I just shut the door.


*This was a fantastic deal at over 60% of retail price by buying a floor model at the clearance center! Our old mattress was 12 years old & had molded to our bodies in a totally different way! ;)

Crazy Conversations

The craziest convo at my house in ages!!!
K: Mommy! E says when we move out of the house you and daddy are going to be divorced!
Me: (to E) You don't even know what that word means.
E: Yes I do!
Me: No you don't. And we're not going to be divorced, we're going to party like rock stars when you move out!
K & E: What?
K: Can you really marry your brother or sister? Because Elliott wants to marry me.
Me: NO! Not ever!
K: See? You have to find your own woman!
E: But I want to!
K: No, you have to find your own woman!
E: I need to find a plain woman like mommy.
Me: What? Get out!